If anyone actually ever reads this - then you might remember that I mentioned a text I received in early December that made me know Christmas was going to be different for us this year. Or HAD to be different for us this year. I read the text to Jeff when it came across my phone after 11:30 p.m. that night and said, "I think we have to go." and his response was an emphatic "No question."
But there was a question, honestly. We have three boys, two of whom are in college and we don't get a lot of time with and all of whom are used to their family traditions over the holidays - and we want to treat them as though they have a say in what goes. So we asked Zach what he would think about heading to "Demingham" for Christmas, and no sooner was it out of our mouth was the response "Heck ya. When are we going?" The oldest child was home before the middle and we put it to him as well. He didn't really respond, but he didn't grunt, didn't make a face, didn't say under his breath "that's stupid", which are his 3 usual responses to anything we say. So that seemed like a positive. Ry came home and because he trailed the earlier conversations by over a week, we just had a senior moment in thinking he already knew - so when conversation ensued one evening about our timeline for the holiday weekend he asked "Are we going to Deming?" Wide eyed and looking at each other like "uh oh..." we nodded and before I could even open my mouth to explain why, he's my one that gave me a knowing look, nodded and said "so what's the plan?"
So we made the trek over on Christmas Eve and arrived in time for dinner with the boys Uncle Rob and his family. Dinner was as dinner is... people ate, lite chatter and then putting all the food back into containers and off to church they all went. We had told Rob we were "easy" in the respect that we would go to church or not - we attend Christmas Eve service when we're home, it would stand to reason we could all "do" church while here. But dishes for tonights menu needed prepping and hors d' ouerves needed to be made for the "after church" festivities. Rob and Jeff worked on poppers, I fried the bacon, made potatoes romanoff and pea salad. When they finally moved out of my way - I managed to pull out the ingredients we brought for stuffed mushrooms and threw those together and into the oven with just enough time to cook before heading back to the Main Baisden homestead.
Poppers, mushroom, pies and blackberry cordial (OMG is this good). Lots of chatter, present opening and the aftermath of one heckuva wrapping paper fight! Rudolph, Seahawks, Santa's letters and Kristi's homemade "snickers". But the whole time I watched "the family" interact, and all I'd heard about these nights from in the past and through Facebook, that this was tame in comparison. Something was missing. SomeONE was missing. SomeONE IS missing.
We returned to the house - watched some TV, made a few more Christmas Day preparations and I turned in before the rest of the guys. I fell asleep easy and slept through the night. When I woke up, my best guy kissed me and said "Merry Christmas" and it was the best gift so far. Up, showered and down to Rob's big brothers place for breakfast. I offered to help but they've got this baby down to an exact science - so I took my place... against the wall. Because of my relationship with my sister and her girls, and after our October trip, I found myself a skoche reserved and knowing that my purpose here isn't to be a part of their extended family, but mostly so that when they all go to their respective homes, that Rob wouldn't have to go home alone. Not at Christmas. Not with KB out of town with relatives for the holidays. So we humbly appreciate and thank the hosts from Christmas Eve and Christmas morning feasts.
Everyone has napped this afternoon, I've read and read some more. I marinated the pork tenderloin and have been mindful of making sure it gets flipped every couple of hours. I've indulged on two cookies... ugh. I need no more food. Tonight Rob and Katie's family and friends converge here tonight. Presents all opened, food all made, it should be an easy affair. Robs parents are appreciative of our trip and it's nice to be able to spend time with them (and we love Bob's new haircut!). His brothers and their wives are inviting and have been gracious enough to open up their homes to us - and we're no small crew. C'mon, these Minn boys are all over 6'2 and eat like football players. We might get a bill before we pull out tomorrow. I would gladly pay it! The cousins are close knit and family stories abound. Coming from a house that is just the 5 of us on Christmas every year - to this is... so... awesome. I wish we had had four more kids so that one day, they too, could experience something like this.
So what you don't know yet is - that while all the families have opened gifts and unstuffed stockings, these three boys of mine "voted" before leaving home to leave their presents at home to open when we get home. No rush, no hurry and no anxious anticipation. They know that all good things come to those who wait. They haven't mentioned a word, they haven't rolled an eye. They, like us, have been unusually quiet - because we are the outsiders. But you know what? What a great opportunity to stretch and grow... to expand and feel different and know that it's OK. I'm not sure what they will each take from this experience, I'm not yet sure what I'm going to take from it. I just know, that based on one text, late one night, my heart spoke, my mind listened, my husband agreed, my kids didn't waver, my friend Greg jumped in to help us out by staying at the house with the dogs, and we all know, regardless of what anyone else thinks - that we did a good thing.
You know what else? Due to me not working, a different financial status for us (for now) - Jeff and I did not exchange gifts. In fact, we gave our "extra" money to the boys for shopping and encouraged them to change it up this year as well. Go in on gifts for each other, or don't. Buy more than one gift. Or an item you know your brother really wants... They bought for their grandparents, their uncle and each other. In the past we knew what each was getting for the other and this year - we left it all to them. They are all excited about this new "process" and we found that they're not too old to learn something new and make it fun. Maybe traditions don't have to be broken - like I said a few days ago, but rather - tweaked.
Best Christmas yet. Hands down.
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