Now Departing... 2011

It's the end of the party... 

Now's the time for us to say - 

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

May we all have a vision

Now and then

Of a world where every neighbor is a friend...

~Abba

It's an hour before we head out to Hugo's to bowl with friends and I've been contemplating this post most of the day.  As I sit here now, I realize, that I barked at Jeff a few times and I know now that it was because I was trying to figure out what inspiring, hopeful, candid, New Years'y kind of post I could write - all the while knowing my thoughts were more serene.

Not because I am out of mindless ideas or diatribe... but because this is the time for reflection of 2011 and we had the highest high this year with our family getting to travel to watch Jeff and the EWU Eagles win the National Championship and how awe inspired we were by his efforts and how much fun that was for our family.  How proud his brothers were, and us of all of them as they took in that win on the field.  We also had the lowest low with the loss of the boys' cousin Sarah.  And as I sit here at this very moment, I'm more consumed with that.  And I'm saddened that she's not here on what would be her 21st New Years, with her family and friends.

And I think of her family tonight as they reel with an unexpected illness and journey ahead of them and I want to look up and say "Okay.  Enough is enough.  Pick on some other family now."  So I say it here... and I've thought it.  And even if, by some chance, "He" listened - granted me this wish - it won't change what's happened to them all this year.  And it won't take away the battle ahead of them.

It's hard to know this and look to 2012 and wonder if the words "Happy New Year" will bring about feelings of hope, cheer, healing - it's hard to believe it would be so.  

<sigh>

New Years Resolutions:

1)  To say what I feel and believe, and trust my heart.  I may be wrong, I may stick my foot in my mouth or worse - but I know that I feel better when my heart leads me.

2)  To remember to send a card to everyone for their birthday.  No matter what.  It may be 3 days late or 19 days late, but it WILL come during their birth MONTH.  If I don't know their birthday exactly, utmost apologies.  I'm not good about remembering birthdays.  Sorry.  But my childhood phone number is RI7-5554.  Remember those days?

3)  More handmade "gifts" next year.  Felt good to make them this year and make myself spend time thinking about what and who.  I forgot some - but in doing so, that helped me to take the time to remember details.

4)  Buy a new pair of shoes every month.  ;-)

What Was I Thinking - Part 2

Revisiting yesterdays' first post - Rep Reebok didn't only kill your legs and abs, it annihilated your arms.  Fortunately, the new 30 (a.k.a. 33) minute class spared my arms.  They are sore, but I can most definitely fling a bowling ball on New Years Eve with them.  Getting the ball out of the ball return and actually taking a few steps to get to the appropriate spot from where to fling the ball from is going to be the tricky part.  In fact, I've mentioned a few times already, that I may well be bowling, from a sitting position... FROM the ball return machine.  Period.  

Where my ball will probably be most of the night...

So I woke up, grunted and "ouch'd" with each step... braced the wall and counter to use the restroom, braced the wall and counter to stand up, take steps to the basement one at a time and always leading with the same foot...  I seriously considered sitting on my rump and pushing off from the top of the stairs - like we used to do as kids - but dang if my glutes aren't burning with each thought of making some sort of move.  If the refrigerator explodes, the washer gets out of balance, the TV falls from above the fireplace - well, that's sure gonna suck.  Cos' I sure as shootin' ain't gonna get to them in any reasonable amount of "reaction" time.  Not.  Gonna.  Happen.

And so it is - that this morning, Jeff asks me if I'm taking Boone to the vet today.  Oh crikey... I am.  At 2:30.  Jack is a happy black lab, doesn't pull me when we walk, such a happy 10 year old, loves to smell fresh air, a loves a visit with bumblebees' and butterflies personality.  Jack weighs 65-70 pounds and I would not know it because of his temperament and how he listens and walks with me.  Dan - our once abandoned at 6 weeks, german short hair mix used to be our adventurer!  BUT, he also thinks he's part cat.  So...  he stays closer the older he gets.  In fact, in recent escape attempts, Dan comes back before Jack.  Total role reversal.  Dan weighs 45 pounds or so, maybe more, and he's just happy to watch the road for me when I'm driving.  When we're in the car, he thinks he's human.  Dan takes many forms... or he thinks he does.  But also, manageable when going to the vet.  This is where my grimace comes into play today:  Boone.  Boone the 90 pound, friggin ginormous yellow lab.  Who at 2 1/2 years of age bounds around all of the time, has apparently the bladder of a lady bug and knows if we call to the boys or Jack or Dan - that he's obviously missing something so runs with reckless abandon to the caller, sliding through everyone, making sure we didn't somehow forget him.  He topples through everyone like a bowling ball hitting glass pins.  THIS is the dog that I GET to take to the vet today.  I envision someone calling 911 in a while to let them know some lady is being drug down the road by a yellow lab.  Crying, laughing, shouting in pain and shouting for help all at the same time.  I'm screwed...  totally screwed.  

If you see this happening in a bit - please don't call the news stations.  Please.

Holy Unemployment Department Batman!!!

Excerpts from my phone "interview" with Washington State Unemployment Dept today:


THEM: "So you heard you could apply for unemployment on what day?"
ME: "Sometime during the first full week of December?"
THEM: "And you didn't apply for them online until December 13th?"
ME:  "Yes."
THEM:  "So... what day did you hear about it and why didn't you apply until December 13th?"
ME: "I'm not entirely sure exactly which day, uhhh, let's go with December 7th, and I didn't apply that day because I didn't think about it again until the 13th... apparently."
THEM: "And what was the problem when you tried to apply earlier?"
ME:  "Earlier than what?"
THEM: "The beginning of December."
ME: "There was no problem, I didn't apply or even try until December 13th."
THEM: "And why did you wait between the 7th and 13th before you applied?"
ME: "Do we have a bad connection?  I've answered this question, three times, the same way, even though you've tried to word it differently?  The answer is - because I was with a friend when I figured out I could apply for them and was not RIGHT NEXT TO MY COMPUTER and due to LIFE in general, didn't think to do it until the 13th."
THEM:  "And who told you you could apply for them?"
ME: "You want their name?  No.  A friend of mine asked how much unemployment I was getting.  I told her that I wasn't claiming it, I didn't know I could under my circumstances. That was on, or around December 7th.  I didn't apply until it came to mind again ON December 13th."
THEM: "And what problem did you have on the 13th, applying for the benefits?"
ME: "NONE."


THEM: "You said your last day was September 8th?"
ME: "Yes"
THEM: "But you noted that September 9th would be your last day?"
ME:  "Yes.  But I was told/asked that if I finished up my notes/projects, to not sit around and twiddle my thumbs.  So I finished up that day."
THEM: "And they paid you for Friday?"
ME:  "They did not."
THEM: "EWU said they paid you for Friday the 9th."
ME:  "I have a paystub, can log in, you can see my supervisor approved it on September 19th.  Would you like me to email it to you?"
THEM: "So you did NOT get paid for the 9th?"
ME:  "Absolutely." (I did this on purpose by this point... 43 minutes in...
THEM: "Absolutely, they did?"
ME: "No.  They did not pay me for the 9th."
THEM: "So they did not pay you on the 9th?"
ME:  "Absolutely."
THEM:  "Would you say that is correct that they did NOT pay you for the 9th?"
ME: "Right"
THEM:  "They noted they paid you for that day."
ME: "They did NOT pay me for the 9th.  As I said a few minutes ago, I can log in, take a screen shot and send it to you.  I would think it is a GOOD thing they did not pay me, because it means I made that much less to add to my benefit."
THEM:  "The paperwork received from EWU states they paid you $20/hour on the 9th.  Didn't you say they paid you $28 an hour?"
ME:  "Do you have my paperwork in front of you?  I know you do,  you said so 36 minutes ago.  I apologize for being rude, but you're asking questions that you have in front of your face.  I answered that question on 6 of the 17 pages you sent to me after I applied for benefits on December 13th, online, which I had no problem with."
THEM: "Right.  It says $20 an hour.  So not $28 dollars an hour?"
ME:  "Absolutely."


It is actually comical how they try to trip you up so they can try to deny benefits.  The great thing is, there are no discrepancies in my timeline, wages, contacts, etc...  But lord love 'em for trying.


I actually am secretly hoping I get to have another phone conversation with them... I'm working on some new, great, one word, confusing responses.  


"Indeed"

What Was I Thinking???

Once upon a time, my sister Tami and I used to do this weight class (Rep Reebok, back then) at 5:30 in the morning one or two days a week... then they moved back to Vancouver and while I still went to the club, I couldn't make myself stick to the class without my bud.

Fast forward a few years and my co-worker Greg decided he'd do the class with me - I think we managed to get through it two or three times, but not once a week or anything... more like once a month.  

Then he took a year or so off from the gym.  Until he told a dating prospect that he liked to work out in the winter - so he said he had to back it up...  

So today we did the class.  I tried to talk Jeff into "playing" with us and he would have none of that, though he did go run on the treadmill.  But when we used to do the class it was 50 minutes long.  Today's class was 30 - but if we're being technical here, it was really 33 minutes long.  And those.  three.  minutes.  Friggin' sucked!  

What's stupid silly about this is - and I'm laughing as I think this and type this - in mere hours I will be walking around like a penguin.  It will hurt to laugh, pee, wash my hair, sit on 18 mattresses with a pea under the bottom one...  Blinking is the only thing that won't hurt.  

I won't be laughing in mere hours... if I'm lucky.  It could be less than an hour before I'm determining how to get to the basement to do the laundry.  If there was snow outside, I'd have my kids pull me from the front door to the basement door on a sled.  Of course, I'd have to make myself get UP off the sled... so that's not ideal.  Walking won't be ideal, steps will be out of the question...

BUT I will be laughing when I see Greg - and he looks as ridiculous as me!  And I will laugh and laugh.  And it will hurt.  

And just like that... the search goes on!

So it's looking more and more like that second position - the one where my references were contacted and I had the meeting with the G.M. and really felt like I was going to soar at this place??!!?  Well, the position actually closes today at E.O.B.  I had been anxiously awaiting the phone call today only to receive an email letting me know they had hoped to have a decision for me today but that now they have a few more interviews to do next Tuesday. (This is because the main interviewer is out of town this week, and they have Monday off). They emailed that they will be in contact by next Wednesday...

So that says that someone within the company or perhaps industry got their resume in after my references were contacted and they are too good to pass up.  I get it... doesn't mean it doesn't suck lima beans!  So to go from reference checks to "I've got a few more interviews to do Tuesday" was all that needed to be said to know the job is no longer mine.  Not that it WAS, technically, but now it's a given.

That being said - a contract, smaller, work from home opportunity presented itself about 3 hours before the fateful email.  The reason it's "work from home" is because of it's size (small stuff) - social media work and creating flyers and verbiage for both of those things.  I'm good at it, and I'm thankful for the opportunity - but I was really jacked about this position.  

1 Down - 11 To Go!

Today marks one month that I've been off of Facebook.  <silent cheer>

It was probably a good first month to be off - or easy - what with birthday shopping, Christmas decorating, more shopping, exchanging, parties, "extra" cooking with boys home, a trip over the mountains, laundry, more laundry, job hunting, Dexter... more Dexter...

So my "free" time that I might usually have been on Facebook, was easily taken up by other things.  So what does that mean for January?

Ryan doesn't head back until the 10th or so, but prior to that, he's being flown to St. Louis for some Fiji thing - he's in 7th heaven about the trip.  Zach will head back to school on the 3rd (I think) and Jeff is actually the Monday after that.  So, for the sake of argument - the first week of January should be much like December is/was.  Annnnd, if I'm fortunate, I'll also be working.

But then what?  Actually, I don't think it will be that hard.  I've done this before - twice - so it's really  not that hard.  In fact one time I came back on just so I could post pictures of sunny skies in Cabo.  That's going to be a hard one to pass up again this year, but I can post them here instead.  Another countdown is on!

But what else can help while away the time at home?  If only I could ask Siri...

<sigh>

In other news:  Zach was accepted to Seattle University... be we still wait on news from 

and that's not likely to come until sometime in March.  I've got a good feeling about it, but the waiting (is the hardest part)...  cue Tom Petty...

Other News Part 2:  Chicken with Rice soup is on the menu today (provided I can get my ars off this chair and into my crockpot and cutting board).

Other News Part 3:  My mom FINALLY, after YEARS of me prodding for them to change vets, shaking my head in disgust when I, by default, visited their vet with two lost dogs I collected and was told BY THEIR VET to bring them to them, and more - FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY took one of their dogs to our vet yesterday and sent me a message this morning that they will be switching all of their dogs (don't ask what that number is) to:

Lincoln Heights Veterinary Clinic, P.S.

www.lhvetclinic.com

Who doesn't occasionally relish the opportunity to say:

What a great way to cap of 2011!

CONGRATULATIONS ZACH MINNERLY FOR YOUR ACCEPTANCE & $10K/YEAR MERIT SCHOLARSHIP TO SEATTLE UNIVERSITY!

Oh NO they're NOT!!!!!

Oh. yes. they. just. did....  They snowplowed up 57th Avenue.  Yes.  They.  Did.

Anyone NOT here in The Can, may not know that we got about an inch of snow last night.  Sure that could wreak havoc on morning commutes - but WHEN they went by, the temperature outside had reached 36 degrees (9 AM) which means that as the day goes on the temps will rise, the snow will melt.  And it already was at that time.


Apparently the news and forecast are not available on the Streets Department channels.  Can you say - 46 degrees in the forecast tomorrow?  Can you say pouring rain Thursday and Friday?  Don't answer that.


The wind is blowing, the air is relatively warm this weekend, the time for snow has passed.  Sadly, the folks on the west side of the state said the biggest accumulations and snow are supposed to hit in February.  It doesn't surprise me.  The year "little" Jeff was born, it did NOT snow until February 12th.  And it snowed. And snowed.  And snowed.  Some ridiculous amount like 18 inches or something.  That's just stupid.


I'm in a total funk about weather.  I have Arizona blood and love love love the heat.  I love snow on Christmas and the thought of eating outdoors on Thanksgiving is not something I could get used to.  But I hate winter.  I hate winter in The Can.  It will look like it does now, for the next 4 months.  Blech.  

1 Down, 364 To Go

So we made it home from Demingham and into the coziness of our own familiar surroundings.  We raced to the showers, finished wrapping presents and decided on tacos for dinner.  Tacos before Christmas presents?  Ab-so-friggin-lutely!

Unpacked, laundry piles made, dogs fed and so happy to be with their people... though we always feel so good after we get home and Peg and Greg have watched the dogs.  Our dogs are happy to see us, but not frantic happy, so we know they were loved and cuddled and played with while we were away.  For dog lovers and owners out there - you know what I mean.  I have 9 followers and I think most of you are pet people...

The boys' mema and papa came up with their gifts, ate tacos and hung out for an episode of "Dexter".  I take full credit for turning thus far, 5 people on to "Dexter", and I know that number is going to grow.  Some people may not like it, and that would leave me bewildered for sure.  Presents were opened, the kids were proud of their shopping selections they made this year and we think we got them each a couple of things they really wanted.  

I was asked by the boys if we were going back next year for Christmas.  Even I hadn't gotten that far in my thinking and it took me a little by surprise.  But I looked at them, shrugged and said I didn't know why not.  

And while I'm proud of my boys for holding off on their Christmas, to be there for their uncle and the rest of the Baisden family - and praised them for doing so - when Zachy asked if we could bring their presents next year - "You bet" was my answer.

But that's 364 days from now... and I'm ready to put the village away and take the tree down.  I might meet some resistance from the rest of the team... and since the tree isn't feeling crisp just yet, I too, may have an internal battle between my "Christmas is over, get rid of the thing" and the "Oh, it's so pretty and makes it so cozy inside" personalities.

But New Years is coming up and <knock on wood> a new job start date next Tuesday have me wanting to get the house in order...

So it's time to pack it up and say goodbye to Christmas 2011.  It's time to ready ourselves for memories-yet-to-be-made, circa 2012.

As the boys would say...

Christmas in Demingham

If anyone actually ever reads this - then you might remember that I mentioned a text I received in early December that made me know Christmas was going to be different for us this year. Or HAD to be different for us this year.  I read the text to Jeff when it came across my phone after 11:30 p.m. that night and said, "I think we have to go." and his response was an emphatic "No question."

But there was a question, honestly.  We have three boys, two of whom are in college and we don't get a lot of time with and all of whom are used to their family traditions over the holidays - and we want to treat them as though they have a say in what goes.  So we asked Zach what he would think about heading to "Demingham" for Christmas, and no sooner was it out of our mouth was the response "Heck ya.  When are we going?"  The oldest child was home before the middle and we put it to him as well.  He didn't really respond, but he didn't grunt, didn't make a face, didn't say under his breath "that's stupid", which are his 3 usual responses to anything we say.  So that seemed like a positive.  Ry came home and because he trailed the earlier conversations by over a week, we just had a senior moment in thinking he already knew - so when conversation ensued one evening about our timeline for the holiday weekend he asked "Are we going to Deming?" Wide eyed and looking at each other like "uh oh..." we nodded and before I could even open my mouth to explain why, he's my one that gave me a knowing look, nodded and said "so what's the plan?"

So we made the trek over on Christmas Eve and arrived in time for dinner with the boys Uncle Rob and his family.  Dinner was as dinner is... people ate, lite chatter and then putting all the food back into containers and off to church they all went.  We had told Rob we were "easy" in the respect that we would go to church or not - we attend Christmas Eve service when we're home, it would stand to reason we could all "do" church while here.  But dishes for tonights menu needed prepping and hors d' ouerves needed to be made for the "after church" festivities.  Rob and Jeff worked on poppers, I fried the bacon, made potatoes romanoff and pea salad.  When they finally moved out of my way - I managed to pull out the ingredients we brought for stuffed mushrooms and threw those together and into the oven with just enough time to cook before heading back to the Main Baisden homestead.  

Poppers, mushroom, pies and blackberry cordial (OMG is this good).  Lots of chatter, present opening and the aftermath of one heckuva wrapping paper fight!  Rudolph, Seahawks, Santa's letters and Kristi's homemade "snickers".  But the whole time I watched "the family" interact, and all I'd heard about these nights from in the past and through Facebook, that this was tame in comparison.  Something was missing.  SomeONE was missing.  SomeONE IS missing.  

We returned to the house - watched some TV, made a few more Christmas Day preparations and I turned in before the rest of the guys.  I fell asleep easy and slept through the night.  When I woke up, my best guy kissed me and said "Merry Christmas" and it was the best gift so far.  Up, showered and down to Rob's big brothers place for breakfast.  I offered to help but they've got this baby down to an exact science - so I took my place... against the wall.  Because of my relationship with my sister and her girls, and after our October trip, I found myself a skoche reserved and knowing that my purpose here isn't to be a part of their extended family, but mostly so that when they all go to their respective homes, that Rob wouldn't have to go home alone.  Not at Christmas.  Not with KB out of town with relatives for the holidays.  So we humbly appreciate and thank the hosts from Christmas Eve and Christmas morning feasts.  

Everyone has napped this afternoon, I've read and read some more.  I marinated the pork tenderloin and have been mindful of making sure it gets flipped every couple of hours.  I've indulged on two cookies... ugh.  I need no more food.  Tonight Rob and Katie's family and friends converge here tonight.  Presents all opened, food all made, it should be an easy affair.  Robs parents are appreciative of our trip and it's nice to be able to spend time with them (and we love Bob's new haircut!).  His brothers and their wives are inviting and have been gracious enough to open up their homes to us - and we're no small crew.  C'mon, these Minn boys are all over 6'2 and eat like football players.  We might get a bill before we pull out tomorrow.  I would gladly pay it!  The cousins are close knit and family stories abound.  Coming from a house that is just the 5 of us on Christmas every year - to this is... so... awesome.  I wish we had had four more kids so that one day, they too, could experience something like this.  

So what you don't know yet is - that while all the families have opened gifts and unstuffed stockings, these three boys of mine "voted" before leaving home to leave their presents at home to open when we get home.  No rush, no hurry and no anxious anticipation.  They know that all good things come to those who wait.  They haven't mentioned a word, they haven't rolled an eye.  They, like us, have been unusually quiet - because we are the outsiders.  But you know what?  What a great opportunity to stretch and grow... to expand and feel different and know that it's OK.  I'm not sure what they will each take from this experience, I'm not yet sure what I'm going to take from it.  I just know, that based on one text, late one night, my heart spoke, my mind listened, my husband agreed, my kids didn't waver, my friend Greg jumped in to help us out by staying at the house with the dogs, and we all know, regardless of what anyone else thinks - that we did a good thing.  

You know what else?  Due to me not working, a different financial status for us (for now) - Jeff and I did not exchange gifts.  In fact, we gave our "extra" money to the boys for shopping and encouraged them to change it up this year as well.  Go in on gifts for each other, or don't.  Buy more than one gift.  Or an item you know your brother really wants... They bought for their grandparents, their uncle and each other.  In the past we knew what each was getting for the other and this year - we left it all to them.  They are all excited about this new "process" and we found that they're not too old to learn something new and make it fun.  Maybe traditions don't have to be broken - like I said a few days ago, but rather - tweaked.  

Best Christmas yet.  Hands down.

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve. Over the river and through the woods... To a new Christmas Eve experience for the Minnerly gang. Wrapping paper thrown to and fro, noise, laughter. Until tomorrow. Merry Christmas from my phone to yours!

Eaten, Wrapped, Shopped, Cra...ed - Oh Nevermind

We ate our traditional P.F. Changs, December 23rd dinner.

We wrapped.

We finished shopping...

And then HE cra..., nevermind.

So we're good to go for the holidays.  We're playing a game of super scrabble and then it's off to a little soiree!  

Here's our yearly JibJab!  Enjoy!  

Good... Maybe even GREAT!

First interview for first posted position was a week and a half ago.  They took an insider - which as I said before, I expected.  Second interview for the newly vacated position was on Tuesday.  Third interview - yah, we'll call it an interview because while it wasn't so much, for all intents and purposes, that word is what works best...  Was today.  Short, good... no... great!  

The salary was bumped up between Tuesday and today.  That is not a bad thing.  

I was "introduced" to a big room with lots of equipment and two very nice gals!

I felt as well as I could feel about it so treated myself to a pedicure... Oh how I've missed those.  And now I have the only snow in Spokane... well, snowflakes on my big toes that is.

There's more, but I don't want to jinx anything... 

But... Thanks to my dear friend Linda for in her words "making it sound like you walk on water!"  I can't, but I have a 22 year old that looks like he can.

No Christmas Party Here, This Year... but

In 11 years here, we've hosted a Holiday party on the 3rd Saturday of December, 9 times.  This year we "opted out"...  I was somewhat torn in doing so, but we had such a great "Seis de Mayo" (yes, SEIS) party and then a fun Yucca party in the spring and summer and more Christmas parties to attend this year than in years past - that I just thought it might be overkill...

And I probably would have been right.  We've been invited to a small gathering tonight and tomorrow will have me finalizing last minute things to shop for when our family does the Friday Family Shopping Event and dinner out for our annual December 23rd dinner out.  And yes, it's annual.  December 23rd comes every year.  

But thrown in to tomorrow's mix is the good fortune of a second interview with the G.M. at a business I'm hopeful to join.  It's close to home, they dress casual - so a lot like when I was working at the school district, yet no broken arms, bloody  noses, puking and screaming kids to deal with.  That in itself, is a Christmas Miracle!  

Granted I may still not make the grade, but after interviewing yesterday at 3:00 p.m., being called 23 hours later for the call back and meeting tomorrow afternoon - certainly is encouraging.  Right?  I figure after that, I should probably get a pedicure.  Something I was doing monthly - has fallen by the wayside since September.  They certainly don't cost an arm and leg, I just haven't been in the mood to make my toes, that no one sees from November through July - pretty.

But another party on Friday, and Christmas has gotten me in the mood!

And with it... back to my "What kind of party can we plan?" mood.  And thus the New Years Eve, bowling  first,  watch the ball drop here last - party has been hatched.

The group is growing, appetizers being planned and weight lifting has begun!  Join us... if you dare to have fun!

Father of Mine...

**WARNING**  This is not appropriate content for people without feelings.  Or is it, with feelings?  In other words - it's my B.S. rant that I feel entitled to share on my blog with 9 followers.  It's dirty laundry and I'm airing it out.  So sue me.

My dad and I aren't close.  Never have been.  He left when I was a toddler and as he moved from Spokane to Seattle, to California and finally Arizona, my time with "dad" was relegated to a few weeks over the summer breaks.  And a birthday phone call, a Thanksgiving phone call and a Christmas Day phone call.  This was how my dad raised me.

I'm not going to talk about how he raised my older sister - because even though it's the same, it's different for her.  And he actually did reside with my younger half sisters, all the days of their lives...  so their story is also different.

One of my most memorable Christmas gifts from my dad was when I was 18.  I received a stuffed monkey (stuffed animal), 3 hackey sacks (for juggling) and a coloring book and crayons.  When I say memorable, don't mistake that for meaningful.  It was - memorable. Not the other.  

As time went on - about 8 years ago the calls on Thanksgiving stopped.  I decided it was because he knew that we were always hosting my mom and stepdad for dinner and it was awkward to call when they may be here.  I get it.

About 5 years ago the calls stopped coming on Christmas.  But this part gets better...  wait for it...

Birthday cards stopped coming 3 or 4 years ago and only the day before my 40th birthday, did I receive an email saying - "Happy Birthday, it's a big one this year, right?"  No phone call followed it up.  And the card was obviously lost in the mail.  Same with the year before that and these past two years since then.  Granted, I'm not great about sending cards - and I used to call him on his birthday - I guess I have always made the excuse that I'm the kid, it's the parents "job".  That's not a good excuse, but when I see what the other "kids" treatment and entitlement is, it's hard to not feel the way a "kid" would feel under the circumstances.  I don't care how old I am, I am still ONE of the kids he left once upon a time.  

Two years ago - this is the part I wanted you to wait for - I received a TEXT on Christmas morning from my dad that said "Merry Christmas".  The end.  The boys get cards for Christmas and their birthdays - so there's that and I'm fine with that.  What I'm not fine with - is knowing that while all of his grandkids get birthday gifts, cards, and Christmas gifts and cards and some of them airline tickets to visit over the holidays - so do all three of his "other" daughters.  They're flown to Arizona from Chicago and Spokane, they have gifts around the tree, they eat, drink and be merry.  We've never been invited.  Nor have my kids been flown down for any reason... no holiday,  not to spend time with them, not for anything.  Unless of course, we paid for it and went on a family vacation.

Last year, when my dads Christmas card came with a check in it, I returned it.  It was the second or third solid year that no phone call or card for my birthday in October, no call at Thanksgiving...  and I was angry.  So I sent it back.

This year - when Sarah died - and I was the one asked by my mother to notify my dad - (which I had already done... though I admit, I remember phone numbers and addresses like nobody does and I struggled with that one in the car on the way to Montana) I thought that things might find a way to normalize - because times like this "do that".  (That's a funny word to use in a dysfunctional family [which everyone has...] but to "normalize" dysfunction - that's funny, but it's a real thing.  Ask anyone who will admit they were part of a "D" family, and they will tell you.  It's a survival thing.  Or something.)  Of course I thought that all that is so wrong and so bad with my sister and I would find a way to crumble and rebuild... but it didn't.  It hasn't.  It won't.  And that's a sad deal.  And so now I know that wasn't going to happen with dear, old dad.  

Don't get me wrong - it's not like during all of those years - those were the only times we talked and it wasn't him doing all of the calling.  I did - many times.  Just like I called my sister nearly every day that she lived in Bellingham, Everson, the town with all the churches... ergh..., Deming (up until 7 years ago) and then there's my mom - who I also called every day.  But I got tired of being the only one to ever call any of them.  So I stopped.  The one constant I could ALWAYS count on - was the call from my dad on my birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  

This year - my dad flew my sister and her daughter down to Arizona, my half sister in from Chicago (and probably her boyfriend), and has his other daughter, her husband and two boys living with them.  No one invited us.  Not a word other than they were flying them all down for the holidays when they were here in September during that awful time.  

So tell me - how come someone doesn't come up with a "No Child Left Behind" gig for families.  It's not like I'm addicted to meth, been in and out of jail, got in altercations where cops have been called, gamble, wreck cars and wreaked havoc on my family their entire lives. I'm not the "Larry" of "Parenthood".  Sure... I told lies as a kid.  Lots of them... It was my defense mechanism - and what's so great now, is I'm no longer the story teller.  I love that part...  but that's a whole other story.  So it's not like we're scum of the earth, embarrassing to be around, wouldn't want my kids around those kinds of people - people.  My kids are all uber smart, successful, pleasant and polite young men.  My husband is funny as sh*t - well, funny as funny is...  and I'm his freakin daughter.  Does that mean nothing?  

Apparently so.

I have wondered all along if I would air real - REAL life on this blog and todays card from my dad gave me the answer.  My Christmas card from my dad says this:

For a Daughter and Son-In-Law

Who mean so much.

<open card>

Life seems so much simpler

at Christmas.

The things that really count

are somehow easier to see...

We only need to look

into our hearts to find what matters -

the warmth of home

the love of family.

<open again>

Whether near or far at Christmas

the best gift is knowing this - 

We'll always be connected by love.

Merry Christmas

(written) Merry Christmas guys, Papa John & Cheryl

Uhhh... aren't you my DAD?

Included in the card were these:  

I'm not entirely sure what the buttons signify - only that they fell out of the card when I opened the envelope.  They are silver...  the end.  Ryan opened his card (Zach and Jeffreys' didn't arrive today, they'll get here soon I'm sure) and he actually didn't get buttons, but cash.  I am so thankful for that because I wasn't sure how I was going to explain why Papa John flies everyone to Arizona that's connected to him through his daughters (minus me of course) and then gives us buttons.  So, at least there's that awkward conversation that doesn't have to be had. 


Good news is, if you're looking for a few glittery, silvery buttons - I'm the person who can get you what you need!  


***UPDATE***  Upon further inspection, we didn't actually receive buttons for Christmas this year.  They were originally glued to the card but became unglued in it's travels through the USPS.  

Afternoon snack of champions... & Dexter

Here is WHY my afternoon snack is acceptable... today:

I woke up, went to the club, worked out.  Yah me.

I quickly raced home (that's redundant I think) to shower and get Zach to the doctor.

I came home, filled out 48 sheets for the Employee Security Department.  Maybe more.

I wrapped a few gifts and then packaged them up for mailing.

I went to the bank.

I went to the store.

I went to Costco.

I went to the post office and did that whole thing.  BUT I will say it was surprisingly quick and I wasn't there longer than 10 minutes.  First time in several years that at 4:00 p.m. they actually have staffed the front counter in all positions.  What took them so long to figure that  out?  

I came home and unloaded the store and Costco.  

Ohhh... I washed sheets and comforters for two rooms today and folded three loads of clothes that I strategically put off yesterday, for today.  Because I don't have anything else to do.

I received the news that I did NOT get the position I interviewed for, but that since they did take an insider (which I expected) that they were personally walking my packet down to the "other" manager for the newly vacated position.  It's something.

I finished the last of the Christmas cards and got them addressed and in the "post office pile".

So after all of this - I pulled out the Sabra Roasted Garlic Hummus and some triscuits to snack on while I pondered what to blog about today.  Annnnnd, to go along with that snack, I have my Starbucks peppermint mocha.  I know the two mentioned in the same sentence sounds vile, but it's not.  It's really not.  

At least not right now.

Check back with me in 3 hours.

No wait... don't.  I'll be starting on the 5th season of "Dexter" then and after having watched seasons 1-4 in the last 3 weeks, and knowing that the 6th season just ended this past Sunday... AND knowing that they are going to be off of OnDemand on 1/3/2012, it's imperative that our "Dexter" time go uninterrupted.

My gawd... if you don't know Dexter - you must fix that!  Post haste!

Traditions were made to be broken?

Once upon a time - when our boys were very very little, this young wife of J*ff put her foot down and said that it was time to create "our own" family traditions.  We had packed up our kids at the crack of dawn on Christmas morning for the last time to head to his parents house.  We were going to start our own traditions.  This was the year. He had grown up with more traditions than my family and we learned others along the way. 

His family went to church on Christmas Eve.  My family went to my Grandpa's or there was that one time mom made bouillabaisse and everyone came to our house.  The kids didn't eat, the house smelled like fish puke and I remember the dress I was wearing as I held my baby cousin Andrea and plugged my nose while the adults ate fish soup.  Guhhhh rosssss!

His family opened one gift that night.  We opened all of ours.

I guess that's only two.  Perhaps it was all of the things now that I consider as OUR traditions that made me think there were more back then.  And perhaps there were, but I don't remember a lot of my childhood, I think I was made that way by design.

I used to put up the Dickens Village all by myself the same day we brought home the tree.  Now Zach carries up all the boxes for me sometime before we have our trees and once I unpack them, he returns the boxes back downstairs.  For two years now - I've threatened to not put them up, but then one of the boys says "But mom, it's a tradition."  Yes... yes it is.  But next year - Zach won't be here and it's a f-load of work to do. 

We used to buy our tree from a lot until we heard about this little place on 65th that sold trees, any tree for $15!!  Fresh cut trees.  So we did that until the year of the spider tree.  Then we heard about this place an hour + out north and have gone there for the last 12 years or so.  With the exception of the two years they closed down due to needing to let their trees grow!  Actually, the first year we found some spot out in Deer Park where pit bulls greeted us and the Karstetters when we got out of our cars.  It did end up being a great trip and great tree though... the next year I called out to Camden Ranch to see if they were letting anyone at all come to cut trees and they said if we did it between two dates, and didn't advertise it, we could come out.  So...  there's that.  Then after the remodel last year - the "tradition" grew from one tree to two.  Again, next year, no Zach to talk me into it - I just can't see it happening right now.

The last decoration to go up is the stockings, hung by the chimney with care.

We always go to First Pres for Christmas Eve service and usually head home, sometimes to friends and other times with my parents, at our home, for cracked crab.  And on Christmas, we have always done dinner here and my parents have come.  Even when Jeff's parents were alive, it was still just my parents because his mom wanted her traditions as they had always been.  

We are creatures of habit, are we not?

So this year - we're changing it up.  After a message came across my phone in early December, late one night, I knew that we had to change it up.  Don't get me wrong, there have been times that I struggled with this idea. Making a change.  So long tradition.  Change is hard.  Well change is hard when you love something, when you are attached to something, when you value something.  When I talked to Jeff he said "Yep."  Then we pitched it to the boys and Zach said "Yep".  We got a muffled response from the grunter of the family and an understanding nod and agreement from Blue Eyes.  (Ryan... our only blue eyed boy!)  But as with all things, with time, came acceptance and excitement and a realization that change is good, or can be good.  

Tis the season of giving and this year, while I'm currently still not working, our "giving" won't be so abundant.  But we can give of ourselves to help those who need it most.  We can give our ears, hands, hearts to help those we know will need it more than we do.  

There's nothing wrong with traditions and we will likely go back to ours next year, though... if I'm being honest, with the boys "all growed up", I'm trending towards more of a friends' gig on Christmas eve or day with lots of snacky foods and banter, versus the traditional meal.  I'm ready for change.  There come times throughout our lives where change is going to happen.  Needs to happen.  Implementing it is the hardest thing - but each day, thinking about it - it gets more exciting!

Caramels - Part 2

So far so good.  I made another batch of the caramels this afternoon and thus far, it appears to be setting the way it's supposed to...  I can tell it's still a skoche warm, so not ready for me to try "processing" and wrapping just yet.  Let me just say, that it doesn't appear to be taking on the caramel "sauce" look like yesterday.  <knock on wood>   Stay tuned...

I also made a batch of special holiday jello this afternoon for a Christmas gig we're attending tonight - and I can say that those set as per usual!  Love the jello!  Really would love to "love" the caramels as a chewy, yummy treat versus needing a straw to slurp it up!

Just did a caramel check.  They turned out... with one small exception.  They stuck to the wax paper!  I've been told to grease the pan or use wax paper.  I used the butter with the runny caramels and the wax paper with the caramels that worked.  So tomorrow - I will do one last batch.  Third times a charm - right?

Heck ya!

Caramel = Fail

I tried making caramels today.

They are supposed to look something like this:

But mine are still in the "gooey" phase.  It's not in the recipe how long it takes for it to set, but my suggestion at this point is - does anyone want to bring over some vanilla bean ice cream tonight as I've got some caramel sauce to use as a topping.

A whole sh*tload of it.

Sincerely,

Not a Candy Baker