It was a different tailgate for us this weekend - what with #7 able to come up and visit, snack for a few minutes before heading up to the press box for the game. While he handled the injury last week, in a way I would never have expected - I could see that this week was going to hurt. It's not fun as a parent at any point in our lives thus far, to see the disappointment in our children's expressions.
The crowd was smaller this week - not a big rivalry, late game, colder out. You know how you feel like something is "off" but you can't put your finger on it? Well that was this particular game night and I wrote it off that I had, and Blue Eyes had, forgotten his new WSU holy board in the back of my jeep when we went to pick up his jeep from getting it's much needed new tires that afternoon.
The team from 1997 was being honored that night and one of the guys from that team went on to play in the NFL -maybe more, but one we knew anyhow. The Dad and I had gone to EWU when this former players' big brother played there... these two are even listed in #7's bio on his player page. I had sent Pat (big brother) a text to let him know to stop by the tailgate at some point, as they were going to be at the game for Jeff (Ogdens) induction. And so at halftime, Pat and his wife, Samantha found us. We talked tailgates, kids, weather, what "tailgating" was when we were at EWU (non-existent, mostly) and certainly not many families, groups like us who feed 8 or so players after the games.
At some point I asked Pat how a friend of ours from EWU was doing - Leo. He said he was doing pretty well...
K - Are they still in southern Idaho?
P - Uh... "they" aren't.
K - (misunderstanding, unknowing) What?!?!?
P - Uhhh, ya, "they" aren't.
K - ????
P - She died. Last year. About this time.
K - WHAT??!!?
A year ago - I was on the Bookface and while Leo wasn't (isn't?) on the Bookface, his wife Tyra was. And while I had only met Tyra once or twice 23 years ago at EWU, she had, at some point in time accepted me as a "friend" on the Bookface. She never changed from 23 years ago - at least, it did not look as though she had appearance wise. She was still a glowing, smiling, beautiful girl/woman.
A year ago Leo had a wife... the mother of his two kids Jordan and Auggie. About a year ago this week she went to the doctor complaining of a flu that just didn't seem to go away. But it wasn't the flu. It was melanoma and the tumors had taken over the inside of her. She passed away on November 4. Pat said she was gone in 3 weeks.
I was in shock. I am in shock. She was two years older than me - and didn't have enough time to live. Or to die.
Pat and Samantha said Leo is doing amazingly well... He has his close group of friends, church and two children from the love of his life - that keep him going. They were "the perfect couple".
I'm glad to hear he is doing well - but I am just so saddened to hear this news. It brings about those questions that help us to remember, to think, to plan. To put things into perspective.
Prior to hearing this but after #7's injury - I remember that #7's backup on the team - that young mans' dad has cancer. Is battling cancer. Cancer is cancer. While some people "beat" it, in my opinion, for the people I've known that have been afflicted with it - it comes back. It sucks. I wondered if maybe this injury happened so that the other boys dad could see his son play. Because - with cancer there is really no mercy. It's not usually a matter of "if", but rather "when".
And in some cases... "when" strikes people unexpectedly.
Remember the bracelets we bought for my North Side husband and his wretched wife, my sista-wife??? I still value it's message:
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