It's Thanksgiving time. The turkey is ordered, the potatoes, stuffing, and all of the other menu items expected on the table - bought yesterday after our return from Vancouver... the house is sort of in order and I felt energized... yesterday.
And then... "today" happened. I've had enough "today's" this year to last a lifetime. In the grand scheme of things - there are worse things. But for the person I am, the worker I've always been... I'm deflated. I'm mentally deflated and I'm losing who "I" am. It's not worth it - I'm the first one to give such advice if a friend was in the same position... but the circumstances are different and I'm really, really.... REALLY trying to stay the course until The Dad has gainful employment (another long, deflating story).
As I sit here, I can think of just how angry I am... it's the kind that - you are so angry all you can do is cry. And the tears are right there - but I can't let them come. I can't let them come because I know when I do, all the other crap that's been building up for months, stuff that I think hasn't affected me, scratch that - that I know full well has affected me, but only scratching the surface. I've stayed strong... well, that's gonna just laugh in my face as it flows from my blubbering face.
We had a fantastic, much needed weekend with E & TK and Blue Eyes came along for the eye opening ride. We laughed and played and watched a football game in the rain. The time went fast and the excitement of knowing it's only a few days until we get to hang out with our families in a unit - made everything OK. Good to go. Life is good.
Life WAS good.
Today found me leaving a message at the Go Eags ticket office at 8:48 this morning and no return phone call. Each and every time I tried to call back - the number is no longer working. #7 said he needed to know about tickets and I told him as season ticket holders we were fine - but that if he got 4 to put them in 4 names, and if he only got 2, to put them in The Dads' and my name. Turns out - they get none. So that settled that. We don't get them, the other requester doesn't get them... the game is sold out! (Well, we are guaranteed the 6 we own) IF we can ever get through. Scratch that. The Dad is going out there tomorrow to take care of it in person. <sigh>
We did get our tailgate spot secured... so there's that.
I forgot to order my pointsettias. Thumbs down.
Black Betty needs her new windshield wipers put on. Thumbs down.
Wacks sheets, blanket and comforter need to be washed AGAIN thanks to Boone. Triple thumbs down.
But... we have a great dog/house sitter. We have a few days with Blue Eyes. We got #7 home for dinner last night. We have the playoffs to look forward to with a healthy (knock on wood) #7. Food, friends and Turkey Bowl. We are caught up on "The Walking Dead". I pulled out some holiday decorations. My bills are paid. I love my house.
But still... that one thing is just an all day buzz kill.
Eff.
Calgon...
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